My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
