do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
