i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
