dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
