if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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