You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
