Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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