dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
