So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
