First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize