Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
