so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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