My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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