He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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