We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
