We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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