Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Vodka?
Forever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
