Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
