even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
