he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
