You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize