First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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