Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
