so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
