dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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