i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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