Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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