It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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