Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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