I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
