And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
