I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
