What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
