I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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