i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
