dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
