I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize