My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
