The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
