the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
