so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
