If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
