I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize