saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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