Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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