Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
