There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm passing your future prison.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
