Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
