I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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