I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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