so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
