I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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