she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
