we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
