Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
