I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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