Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize