Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
